Like you even bothered.
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after a long period of time. Here I am back to update.
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looking back, it’s been four years since I entered secondary school life. Can say there are lots and lots of ups and downs. Lots of struggles. Time and time again I felt really upset. All the stress at home, relationships, school work and stuff. Having hard time breathing.
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2006 have been a super tiring year. Looking back, I have spent lots of time doing nth. Learn lotsa new things of course. But till the end of the day I still didn't get what I wanted to pursue. Friends in my life come and go. It’s really quite sad to see my friends leaving me one by one. I regretted what I did previously. Can’t blame. Well. I’m not a good friend after all. I’m just an anti social girl who lives in the world of her own. Someone who have fallen and yet to find the way out. It depends how u see it. At times I really don't bother about how people look at me. Different people different views. Those who know me well enough knows it. Those who don't just don't. Life will never be any easier. Always never failed to be filled with pain sorrow agony and sadness. Happiness too. But never gonna be more than those pains. I deeply enjoyed some parts of 2006 though. Some parts that will remain in my memories forever. Not going to carry my sadness over to the New Year. Who’s gonna care anyway. I have always been me myself and i. hahaha.
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2007 a new year, new beginning. Things are really different. I really regretted not studying for the past 2 year. What the hack am i doing man? Play and play didn’t study. Hope i will do well for Os man. I’m really afraid. Hmm... This year is kinda like a new beginning for me. Many things change. People who came, came. People who left, left. Things that’s i have been thinking I am still thinking. But not as much as before. Really trying to change my con current life. Hope everything till be better than last year. Relationship is something I am not gonna think about now. Studies comes first bahx. Never gonna let myself get hurt again... just wanna be happy i think. I dun believe in happily ever after anymore. Reality never allows it to happen. Dreams? Afraid of it. I am just afraid of losing anything anymore. Pursuing has been a really tiring thing. Once is enough. Once bitten, twice shy. It’s true. What’s the point of loving someone when they dun even bother to think about and just leave you there suffering? And pretending that nth has happened at all. It’s just hard to forget what’s being done... Just like a scar. Its there forever.
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I also hate long bus rides, making me think about things I shouldn’t all the time. Yes sometimes I do enjoy the time spent on bus pondering about mistakes and stuff. Listening to my mp3 with the shuffle repeat mode. Sometimes even listening to the same song over and over again without feeling bored of it. Different songs to me have different meaning and each have a memory behind it. It’s quite amazing what have happened in my life. Compared to others, I think mine is nothing. Happy going lucky me is no longer there anymore. It just left me unknowingly. Trying to find back my old self. Thinking of it, it’s really scary. Who will care anyway… lalala~

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hmm... Church has been moved to Sat.Kinda not used to it. Really. With cca and things happening. I really dunno how to cope. Why does this have to happen now? In dilemma about what to do now. Maybe sacrifice. Schools have been really sians. Relationship with friends just getting from bad to worse. I’m super not good in handling things now. Only can blame myself for being so unreasonable and irritating last year. Even till now. arghh.. What am i doing man? Hmm… just hope things will get better lo. My sister have went back home today. Really miss her voice and the baby. Think of it i really wanna cry. Should stop being so emotional. Time to be more mature.

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not in the mood to blog now. This for now.

*ximin

`not gonna think about u anymore… nope. No more.